It’s you–but like the older, wiser version of you. I’m writing because–well–you’re about to become a mom and I needed to let you know that motherhood will be the best thing you have ever done and also that you are not ready for it. Not even a little bit. Nor will you ever be.
No matter how many parenting books you read, or birthing classes you take (spoiler alert: You’ll only make it to one. You’re going to give birth early and miss how to do Lamaze breathing.), or parents you talk to, you will never ever be able to properly prepare for this thing called parenthood.
Your kid will be the opposite of everything you expect her to be. She will have zero chill and pop out the chute talking. Legit talking. She will not stop. Ever. You will love every second of it but also need to hide in the bathroom to have quiet sometimes. That’s OK.
You’re going to give birth in a hospital, even though you want to give birth at home. You will breastfeed and it will suck. That is not a pun… mostly. Despite this, you will do it all over again when your second one arrives. Oh, we’re having more than one, by the way.
You will wonder if you are cut out for motherhood every night while rocking your screaming newborn. To add insult to injury, your husband will sleep through the crying. One night, you will kick him in the shin to wake him and force him to stay awake with you out of principle. It will not be your finest moment and your effort will be futile as he will fall asleep while sitting up, but it makes you love him even more.
Your babies will strain your sanity, your body, your wallet and your marriage. You’re going to need therapy. Lots of it. The mom friends you were nervous to make will listen to your struggles and help you through the ups and downs. Go to the playgroups even though the thought of strapping your baby into a carseat scares you. Do it anyway. The people you meet and befriend will become your lifeline.
You will have to answer questions that you do not know the answer to regularly. Why do we have skin? How do I know I’m alive? Why can’t we change the colors of a rainbow? Those are just a few. That may not sound scary at first, but this is the twenty-first century. “I’m not sure,” does not cut it when your kids know who Google and Siri are.
You will cry a lot. You will smile a lot. You will laugh a lot. You will feel unprepared everyday. Be gentle with yourself. It is not easy to raise tiny humans and raising them to be kind is the most underappreciated responsibility in the world. Remember that this is important work even when you question if what you are doing with your life is enough. You are enough. We got this.